


zombies and spam

by Merideath



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Banter, Crack, Darcy Lewis/Clint Barton if you squint, Gen, Humor, SPAM, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 18:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merideath/pseuds/Merideath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Down to a handful of bullets, three arrows and four shotgun shells. Fantastic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	zombies and spam

**Author's Note:**

> written for the big words meme on tumblr. I was given tarantism and the pairing of Clint/Darcy. It's not terribly shippy as I see them as bros in my head but I like how this little ficlet turned out. All mistakes are my own.

Down to a handful of bullets, three arrows and four shotgun shells. Fantastic. 

Darcy grimaced and picked at the flocked wallpaper beside the boarded up window as Clint wandered in as she shoved cans into their backpack. “Find anything good?” he asks picking up one of the unlabeled cans and shaking it. 

“Stop that,” she says grabbing the can out of his hands and shoving it into the bag closest to hand. “Well there are enough canned goods for a few days, dry pasta, half a box of Tampax, two rolls of toilet paper, a can of extra firm hold hairspray, a lighter with a severe case of performance anxiety, a quarter bottle of peach schnapps, oh and a Barbie pink aluminium baseball bat.” 

“So we’re all gonna die eating canned dog food and playing little league.”

“Don’t be such a pessimist, Barton. The odds were worse last time we went on a supply run. Steve fell through the ceiling of that apartment building and we didn’t even have a baseball bat.”

“It’s pink.”

“And you wear purple, not seeing the problem here. Besides it’s cheerful. Now you can cheerfully bash in the skulls of the obstinately deceased. Oh look Spam,” Darcy says pulling a can from the back of a cupboard.

“Tinned meat by product as a weapon? I’m pretty sure you can’t poison zombies.”

“No but you can throw it and run.”

“How does this help out food supplies?”

“Good point. Best batter up, Hawkeye. It’s time to dance,” Darcy says swaying on her feet as she hoists her back pack up.

“Look, girly girl, I don’t think now’s the time for dancing.”

“Tarantism: the urge to overcome melancholy by dancing. Says so right there on the word of the day calendar,” Darcy says arching her brows up and pointing at the block calendar by the phone and picking up the pink baseball bat.

“You equate an apocalyptic invasion of the recently deceased and the presently decaying whilst still standing with sorrow and dancing?”

“Dude, you have been spending too much time with Thor. Nobody says whilst,” Darcy snarks taking one last look in the laundry room as they head towards the back door. “Oh looks like you are in luck, Clint. There’s a mop.”

“And this is lucky because?” 

“Um it’s like a Bo staff that you can clean the floor with after?” Darcy says holding up the mop in one hand and the bat in the other.

“Just gimme the bat, Lewis,” Clint huffs, Darcy beams and tosses the bat at his head, Clint catches it and glares leading the way out of the house and back towards their temporary shelter and the rest of the team.

“I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world/ Life in plastic, it’s fantastic!” Darcy sings softly as she pulls the mop apart and twirls the stick in her hands. 

“Heads up, Darce. Three obstinately deceased headed our way,” Clint says raising the bat up. 

“Goody good gum drops,” she says dryly stepping to Clint’s side and raising the former mop.


End file.
